Shortly after I got my first driver’s license in the mid-1970s, Illinois, along with most of the rest of the country passed a law making it legal to turn right at a stop light when it was red, provided you stopped first and no one was approaching. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately most people are just large children in need of adult supervision, especially when they are behind the wheel of a car.
Increasingly I find that driver’s think right turn on red means they have the right of way over traffic approaching on the cross street; that they don’t need to stop or give way to moving traffic. Just in the past week I have seen two near accidents caused by some cow head blowing through his/her red light to turn right in front of moving traffic that had the right of way.
That driving is a privilege is lost on these cretins. Sharing the road and defensive driving have become quaint anachronisms. Today’s take-no-prisoners style of driving endangers every one on the road. Contributing to this problem is the hurry-up attitude our society has about everything. No one is content to merely drive with the flow of traffic any more. Our highways, especially around large metropolitan areas, have become race tracks. People will drive outrageously just to pass a single vehicle. It seems that in America today winners are good, losers are bad, and everything is a contest.
We are a nation of self-indulgent, spoiled brats in desperate need of some maturity. Unfortunately, I don’t see the US growing up any time soon.
Recently we’ve watched:
In Good Company A light-hearted look at corporate takeover and employment angst. Somewhat predictable, but funny and enjoyable all the same.
Hostage I read this book several years ago, and once again, the movie was lacking. When every the screenplay doesn’t involve the author of the book you know you are in trouble. Most disturbing was a recurring rape theme that I don’t remember at all in the book. Using rape as “entertainment” is not only sick, it’s wrong.
Coach Carter Very good movie, perhaps better than “Remember the Titans”. As always Samuel L. Jackson delivers a commanding performance.
Be Cool The sequel to “Get Shorty”, Be Cool tries and ultimately fails to achieve its title command. The ensemble cast is great, and there are bits that are quite good, but the coy attempt to recreate a Pulp Fiction like feel fall flat.
Game Over: Kasparov and the Machine A very interesting look at the “defeat” of Garry Kasparov by IBM’s chess computer Deep Blue. Very little actual chess, but a lot of discussion about the atmosphere around the games in New York City where the computer ultimately won the match.
Final Cut A slightly futuristic film about the impact of chips implanted in humans to record their entire lives. Robin Williams stars and turns in a good performance, but the story left me wanting more. The conclusion was dissatisfying in that his character’s life ultimately has no meaning.
The Aviator A tremendous movie, with an outstanding performance by Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes. A disturbingly good portrayal of life with obsessive compulsive illness and no treatment.
This is just ridiculous.
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In December 1995 my life, my world, was turned upside down. And I have been happy ever since. You see, that December a decade ago I met my future wife online in, of all places, an AOL chat room. One or two online chats quickly grew into a phone call. And that initial phone call blossomed into more calls until we were talking for several hours every day.
She was living in Colorado and I in Illinois so after three months on the phone I traveled to meet her in Colorado Springs. That initial meeting was both terrifying and uplifting. Returning to our separate lives afterward was hard for both of us. Our daily phone conversations expanded to multiple calls a day, and by mid-summer we were ready to see each other again. Since neither of us could afford the plane trip we agreed to meet in Salina Kansas, which was almost perfectly halfway between us. The motel was old, and bed painfully swaybacked but we had fun for three days getting to know each other even better.
It would be November before we saw each other again. Our relationship had deepened, and we were both thinking about living closer to the other. Michele’s job was in jeopardy as the psychiatric hospital she worked for was going out of business. The November weekend we spent together in Salina was when we both realized that being together was what we wanted, what we needed.
Michele made the trip to Springfield the first time during a bitter cold, snowy week in January 1997. We had been talking on the phone for a year and we were ready for a life together. Although initially dismayed at the stark flatness of central Illinois after living in Colorado, Michele was ready to leave her crumbling job situation behind and move. I flew to Colorado Springs Valentine’s Day weekend to help her get ready for her move a couple of weeks later. Instead we ended up packing her entire apartment for the movers, and driving back to Illinois together a week early.
We’ve only been apart two nights since, both for employment interviews I had.
Shortly after moving into the duplex where I had been living by myself, Michele and I announced our wedding plans to my family and hers. This coming Tuesday, July 26, 2005, we will have been married for eight years. We have lived in four states, moving as many times, during our marriage. Together we have faced financial hardships, the death of loved ones, and the loss of a cherished pet. We have also laughed and grown, explored our spirituality and come to a greater understanding of who we are as individuals.
Michele once said that marriage is where you resolve the issues from your childhood. I believe that to be true, and I know that we have each grown in our own ways to address those issues. We are happiest when we are at home, together, sharing life.
After ten years of knowing this amazing woman, of learning to see myself through her eyes, of anticipating her smile, of wanting to share all of me with her; after all these years I still can’t wait to be with her at the end of the work day.
Michele, I know we have said this more than once, but I would marry you again in an instant. Honest and for true. You complete me, you provide the light in my life, you allow me to be your hero, and you are my hero when I need one. I am truly the most fortunate man alive in the universe; for I get to share my life with you.
Thank you for being my friend, companion, lover, partner, hero, buddy, and wife.
I lov eyou //\ichele
As we approach the next anniversary of Nine-Eleven I have this thought.
15 of the 19 individuals involved in the hijackings and subsequent attacks on New York City and Washington were Saudi Arabians. So naturally we attacked Afghanistan and then Iraq.
What if 15 of the 19 individuals had been North Korean? Would we have invaded Japan? South Korea? If they had been Columbian would we have invaded Cuba?
My point is that there are really only two motives in the world: money and love. We, as a country, pay enormous sums to the Saudis for oil. America, like a petulant teenager, knows when not to bite the hand that feeds it.
What chaps my ass is that we give lip service to fighting terrorist while shipping money by the boatload to a country that open supports terrorists.
I just don’t get it.
Michele and I both like “reality” television. Our favorite shows are Survivor and Amazing Race. We also liked The Mole when it was on the air. However our shameful secret is that we also watch Big Brother.
Each season has gotten more and more smutty. It’s like a whole summer of the Jerry Springer show. On steroids. The people willing to expose themselves (literally and figuratively) on this show are an amazing cross section of self-important, full-of-themselves exhibitionists.
We find ourselves repulsed and attracted at the same time. Rather like passing an automobile accident and having to slow down to look.
I ran across an interesting turn of phrase in a book I’m currently reading. The story takes place in Japan, and the prose is littered with bits of Japanese. The phrase mono no aware was translated as “the sadness of being human.”
Given all that has transpired in the last year and a half, this struck a rather deep cord with me. I’m not sure exactly what it means, but I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe I’ll figure it out eventually, but for now, I am finding some comfort in mono no aware
Over the long holiday weekend we watched several movies.
The Village M. Night Shyamalan’s wonderful movie about a remote village surrounded by a forest containing a secret enemy. We hadn’t seen this before and were expecting a “horror” type film. The twists and turns the plot takes are very good and ultimately the movie is very satisfying.
The Pacifier While this one was predictable and aimed at younger audience it was good for a laugh. Vin Diesel’s wooden acting actually makes him a good straight man for sight and pratfall gags.
Hotel Rwanda A powerful, disturbing, and moving true story about genocide in our time. As you watch with horror the killing and destruction you cannot believe that this happened only ten years ago and that you remember nothing about it on the news. Western “civilization” turned its back on the people of Rwanda ten years ago at a cost of nearly a million lives. Today we are again turning our backs on the situation in the Sudan. What good is it to be a superpower if all we can do invade and occupy a country we’ve been bombing for over a decade while ignoring mass killings in another country?
The Last Shot A surprisingly funny sleeper. We had seen a clip of this on “The Daily Show” when it was first released but never rented the movie. A very funny farce about a true FBI sting operation involving Hollywood and the mob.
I strongly urge the Senate to exercise its rightful role in the upcoming selection and confirmation process for supreme court justice. As Justice O’Connor was often the pivotal vote, her replacement needs to be similar ideologically.
With President Bush’s term still having over three years to run, he will likely have several opportunities to move the court towards the right - a move that will disenfranchise vast numbers of Americans and further erode our society by putting personal religious convictions ahead of our societies needs.
Replacing Justice O’Connor with a like minded jurist will keep the court balanced at a time when the rest of the government seems to be shifting towards the right. A conservative or, worse, fundamentalist jurist would not only move the court to the right, they would reverse the direction of the court altogether.
Please remember that although the current administration was elected by a majority of conservative voters, the majority of Americans are not conservative and do not want an ideologue turning their country into a restrictive society where women have no rights over their bodies, and where personal lifestyle choices result in loss of freedoms.
Again I urge the Senate to carefully consider the implications of this selection and confirmation process as it will shape our country for decades to come.
Sincerely, Mark H. Nichols
This may very well be one of the best things I’ve ever read about grieving. Having lost my sister when I was just twelve I could articulate how it felt and what I needed. Stacey Waspe’s words capture the truth of the process, simply and accurately.
In the last eight months my wife lost both of her parents. She is moving through her grief, and I am moving through my own grief process. Reading this posting helped to put into perspective what Michele is going through.
I am grateful for people who can articulate their deepest emotions and processes in the moment, and who are also brave enough to share with the rest of the world.