Having a gas heater for our pool adds about 4 or 5 weeks to each end of the swimming season here in central Illinois. We opened the pool in late April this year, and have been swimming in it since the beginning of May. If the past couple of years are any indication, we should still be swimming in late September or early October.
That is as long as the heater is working properly. Last weekend we noticed that the water temperature seemed to be going down every day rather and maintaining our preferred 88 degrees. Going over to the heater and adjusting the thermostat upwards did not cause it to kick on in the expected manner. Uh oh.
We spent the week trying various remedies and experiments to isolate the problem and fix it. After much hunting around we were able to identify the fuse-able link, and to determine that it hadn’t fused. Harder to identify was the location of the flow pressure switch, a device that measures the water flow and only allows heating when the water is moving.
In the end a good friend, Brad, came by and showed us where the flow pressure switch was located. More importantly he figured out that it wasn’t the likely culprit. After testing the electrical circuit he was ready to declare the main circuit board as the problem. However, flipping the unit’s rocker switch from side to side he managed to get the unit running again.
My first impression the day we discovered the heater wasn’t working was that the switch, which has three positions (Off, heat setting one, and heat setting two), was some how messed up. It felt mushy on heat setting one, and apparently didn’t work on heat setting two. Brad was far more forceful in switching it repeatedly than I, and he managed to make it work. So, while the contact for side 1 are obviously no good any more, it is working through side 2, and we are once again heating the pool water.
The water temperature was 84 degrees and climbing at 9 this morning, and with a forecast high of low 80s today, we are looking forward to being in hot water once again.
As if a world class user interface, on top of a powerful FreeBSD rooted operating system wasn’t enough, here is yet another reason to switch from Windows to Macintosh.
On Wednesday last week, May 26th, I got a call from a company that wanted to bid me on a multi-year contract with the state. At first I was hesitant about pursuing this option, as I had just received a verbal offer the day before in Kansas City. After thinking it over for a few minutes, and talking about it with Michele, I decided that I’d be foolish not to at least investigate the option further. After a couple of phones calls with the company, and a quick review of the job description, I consented to having my name submitted for the contract. I now had two bids in play for potential contracts with the state.
Thursday last week was a busy one around here. In the morning I received the overnight package from the job in Kansas City that had been promised to me. The package contained a contract with compensation, non-compete and termination clauses, also included were sign up sheets for direct deposit and health insurance. Not wanting to commit immediately I set all of this aside. My plan was to pick it up again on Tuesday and sign my life away then.
Life may have other ideas however. Thursday afternoon I received a phone call from the company that had wanted to send me to Wisconsin. So far this is the only bunch that has interviewed me face to face.
Even after I turned down a scheduled client interview with them, the account manager has continued to pursue me as a potential employee. She called Thursday afternoon, and we talked about a position she suddenly has open in Bloomington. On the surface the job there sounds much like the job in Kansas City. The account manager was willing to pay me the same salary I had been offered in KC; and this is a place I could drive to from here every day.
Since the drive would be roughly two or maybe two and a half hours each day, driving would not be good long term situation. Keeping the job in Bloomington would mean getting a house there and moving eventually. One of the big plusses is that my brother, and his family, lives in Bloomington’s twin city, Normal. The other plus is that since she needs to fill this position as soon as possible it is likely I’ll have a firm offer in time to consider it before having to move to KC.
Friday we had a moving estimator come and quote us on the cost of having our house completely packed, and moved to KC. Packing our 11,400 pounds came to about $2000; loading, shipping, unloading, and insurance came to another $3500. Obviously moving to Bloomington only 80 miles away, would save us a significant portion of that money. Staying here would save it all.
Saturday we spent most of the day in anticipation of going to see my oldest nephew’s high school graduation. We had a good time at the party afterwards at his home. Sunday we were extremely lazy, managing only to make our meals and take a hot bath.
During our bath together Michele and I had a wonderful discussion of our options. We had both avoided talking about it all day Sunday, giving ourselves some time off from the strain, pressure, and stress. Both of us want very much to stay here if at all possible. Taking the Bloomington job, even with it’s 80 mile commute, is better than having to leave behind our home. Because of our financial situation we’ve had to use a major portion of our home’s equity to survive. Staying here for another 3 years would give us time to wipe out that burden and we’d regain the equity we should rightly have in this house.
I said during our discussion that the problem with waiting for the state contract to happen meant passing on KC well before having a signed contract in hand. It would be a huge roll of the dice, one that required perhaps more faith than I could currently muster. She replied that the Bloomington prospect seems very likely to happen rapidly. The firm there is back-filling a position they already had a contract for, so they were motivated to move quickly. She then pointed out that were the Bloomington position to happen, it would give us the time to wait for a state contract to be signed.
In that one sentence she completely altered my view of our future. Now, instead of having to give up the house and move, we had a viable plan to stay here short term, with money to cover our living expenses, while the best overall employment situation coalesced here in Springfield. Even if a contract never comes out of the state we’d still have a job that allowed us to stay in Springfield for the time being. We also talked about options for finding Michele an entry level position in the information technology world, either at the state or the local senior college where I have contacts.
Four years ago when I was laid off in South Carolina much the same thing happened. Initially it looked like our only option was to move away. But after coming to terms with the emotional side of the equation, I was able to find work that allowed us to stay, and that gave us time to find a better long term solution. Then the eventual solution was moving here. Now I feel the ultimate solution is staying here. I feel revitalized and hopeful again.
An argument could be made that my Powerbook contributed to my, ah, abrupt departure from my last engagement. It was after all the base of my explorations in to TCP/IP networking, ssh, proxies, and NMap.
Curbing my enthusiasm and curiosity will be key in not running afoul of network access restrictions in the future. That, or better technology to obfuscate my activities. <grin />
One approach would be to leave my Powerbook at home when I go off to work. However, after more than a year of constant use, it is as much a part of my daily employment persona as my fedora and suspenders. I will not be happy to leave it home everyday. It serves my electronic books at lunch time, and it is a touchstone of home when I am not there. You might say it is an electronic security blanket.
The other approach is to take it with me. And to tread carefully. The places I’ve worked now cover the spectrum of network access policies; from wide open to look-but-don’t-touch-or-we’ll-fire-your-butt. So I’ll ask first.
As for the role this web site played in my demise, I am not planning on broadcasting the URL for a long time among my future work mates. I don’t think my personal web site should effect my employment at all, for any reason. But since the world doesn’t always work that way I think, I’ll stay low in my foxhole for a while.
I find myself at a crossroads today. One stage of my growth is completing and opportunities for the next stage are making themselves known. Where to go from here is now the most important though that fills my days.
Four years ago I made the choice to return to Illinois, the place of my childhood and most of my adult life. Illinois has always been home for me. The two and a half years away from Illinois were filled with wonderful growing experiences. I needed the lessons being away from home for the first time held for me. In talking with Michele the past day or so about my motivations, I have finally come to realize that the whole time we were away from here I was missing home.
Being back here has allowed me to repair the relationship with my brother, and has allowed me to put my parents into an appropriate light. I have come to understand that my struggles with authority figures stems from frustration about my relationship with my father. I have amended my perception of my mother and I have let go of much of the anger I once held for her.
What is becoming clear to me now is that I have three paths to chose from going forward. I can venture out into the world outside Illinois, trusting myself to build community where ever I find myself so that home is an idea or state of emotion rather than a geographic location.
I could stay here and take the seemingly safe path. A path that would require renewed focus on family relationships. In order to be successful it would also require some community building so that my neglected sense of affiliation can blossom.
Or I could take a position that would put me in contact with a former supervisor on a daily basis, only as a peer. I would be able to confront directly a former source of authority that I chaffed against in silent frustration.
Each of these paths has associated with it a job and various plusses and minuses. Up until the reframing of these three employment prospects as opportunities for personal growth I found myself stymied and unable to make a rational choice. I was fighting against leaving home ( Illinois ) without being able to express the reasons why. Having reframed the decision as a choice between three equal ways to further my personal growth removes the fear of making the wrong choice. Any movement towards positive personal growth cannot by definition be wrong.
Emotionally I am finding a new sense of calm and serenity today. Now that I am making a choice about my personal growth and not reacting to outside pressures about having the right job, I find that I am open to all three options. I am excited by the prospect of each of them. Sitting back and allowing one to naturally unfold will be easy, and that will let me know that this is the best next step for me.
Since losing my employment over two months ago I have wanted to find a way to fuse my personal growth and desired lifestyle with my employment. Now that I am seeing my options as equal but varied expressions of my growth, personality, and lifestyle; I have found that fusion. And I have found my power again.
Yesterday, the 25th, about this time I got the call I’ve been waiting to get for ten weeks. An offer. The written offer is in an overnight pouch scheduled to be here tomorrow.
All through the evening and through most of the night I was a little unhinged by the culmination of physical exhaustion, mental weariness, and emotional battering I have undergone getting to this point. I see-sawed back and forth between wanting to accept the offer and wanting to curl up and die. I know that my conversations with Michele were rambling, disconnected childish attempts and making this whole situation about everyone else.
Today I am back to my normal self. Starting this morning I outlined several points I needed to clarify with new company. The biggest sticking point was the start date. Yesterday I felt very pressured to start as soon as possible, June 7th at the latest. This left us with less than two weeks to find a new place, pack, move, get settled in, list our current home for sale, et cetera. It felt extremely good to be able to negotiate a later starting date, June 28th, and to get my other questions answered. I felt in control of my own life once again.
We’ve taken some time to explore apartment offerings in the metropolitan area, and have made appointments for next Wednesday to visit a couple that we like. Having the extra two weeks of time just makes the pace of this transition more to our liking, and I finally feel excited about this opportunity.
My other options are continuing to move ahead as well. I started the day with one offer in hand, and one possible contract in the works. This afternoon I still have the offer in hand, but I’ve added a second local contract and started the ball rolling on a position outside Louisville Kentucky.
Obviously Michele and I would prefer to stay here and keep our home and our pool for another year or three. And should an offer that makes that possible occur within the next 3-4 weeks we’ll take it. If such an offer doesn’t materialize in that time frame we have a great job in a city we could learn to appreciate waiting for us.
I think that I will sleep better tonight than I have since March.
You’d think that getting a great job offer after ten weeks of unemployment would be great. You would think that. Turns out you’d be wrong.
The past ten weeks have stripped me of my confidence, stripped me of my trust in my inner voice. It is so hard not to think that the only common factor in all the jobs I applied for and didn’t get is me. My inner voice has started to question and doubt everything I say or do. I know better and yet I can’t help but give in to the fear, uncertainty, and doubt that is currently giving lectures in my head.
Ten weeks of rejection, of self doubt, of self recriminations have left me incapable of processing the offer that was made to me this afternoon. The position is a dream job in terms of its technical focus and duration. I would be challenged to expand my broad development base into new areas of application architecture. It is the kind of job I’ve always said I’ve wanted.
Only now that it’s been offered to me, I find myself wanting to reject the offer. When I think about accepting it I get sick to my stomach and my hands get shaky. Since I no longer trust my inner voice after weeks of getting nowhere, how can I trust it now?
Should I ignore my trepidation and take the job and hope for the best? After all, if I can’t trust my inner voice any more, what it is telling my about this job is wrong. Or should I listen to it now that I’ve gotten an offer? After all there were doubts in my mind about this position before the offer was made. Those concerns haven’t (yet) been addressed.
I want so desperately to make the right choice, to do the right thing, that I am afraid of doing anything. Our money is growing short, our time is running out. If I turn my back on this offer I am risking everything on getting a new offer that I can accept.
I know that I feel out of control right now. Events have left me in a precarious position and I don’t like having to make a choice because it’s the only option left to me. I need to find some way to gain control of this situation again, even if it is only illusory control during the transition to what ever is next.
Just having identified that I must do something to regain control, or the feeling of control, is helping me to feel better now. It is late and I am utterly spent and exhausted. Hopefully dumping all of these thoughts here will keep them out of my head long enough for me to fall asleep.
This morning I had the most intense and rigorous interview of my twenty year career. The gentleman on the other end of the phone was very up front about needing to vet me, and how he was going to achieve that. The thirty minutes left me excited and drained at the same time.
This afternoon I was called back and offered the job. This will be a challenge for me, forcing me to expand my knowledge and abilities tremendously. Everything about this situation is coming together nicely, and we are almost certain that it is the right thing for us to do next.
Almost certain.
It requires moving about 300 miles further west. We’ll be that much farther from all of Michele’s friends and family. In particular the additional distance from her mom will be hard. Today we are two long days drive away, with the added milage it’ll be next to impossible to drive. Flying will work, but the idea of being farther away is not one that makes either of us happy.
I did pass on an interview already scheduled for Thursday of this week; in light of this offer the second position paled to insignificance. I think I handled the telephone call to cancel the interview well. I didn’t burn the bridge.
The final potential offer I have may or may not come to pass. My name and resume have been submitted and I am justing waiting to hear if I am awarded the contract. Financially the two positions are about equal. The contact would be local, and that would save us the move, and avoid the whole distance issue for a time anyway. The local contact is less stable, and not nearly as challenging technically for me.
So I am left with comparing an apple in the hand with an orange that I may not even get. One is a great career move, a career move that isn’t likely to come my way again. The other allows me to focus more on friends and family, it would be saying to the world that my career is nice, but is not the prime factor for my happiness.
I have a couple of days before the written offer lands in my mail box. If I hear about the local contact before the end of the week, Michele and I will have to make a difficult decision. One based on emotional needs and practical realities. In this moment I can even see passing on both opportunities and manufacturing one elsewhere that might meet more needs altogether. Having an offer in hand is very confidence inspiring.
So, like Alice, we are into the rabbit hole, not knowing where it leads or what wondrous adventures we’ll have before reaching the bottom.
Or ‘There and Back Again in 22 Hours’
In anticipation of a phone interview Monday morning, Michele and I decided to visit Kansas City on Saturday. KC is the location of one prospective opportunity and, since it is only 5 hours away by car, we wanted to have a quick look see before I had my interview.
Little did we know that the next 22 hours would be so, ah, interesting.
Our trip started out smoothly enough. We have for some time maintained a travel bag, with duplicates of our basic toiletries, et cetera, so we were off in a matter of minutes. Along the way we had a great conversation about the pluses and minuses of each of the three hottest prospects coming our way.
As we were navigating the highway interchange between I-270 and I-70 West on the outskirts of St. Louis we both noticed that the air in the car was getting warmer and warmer. The A/C was working as we could feel cold air trickling out of the vents, but either the fan had quit or a hose a come off, as there was no real force behind the air. Fiddling with the controls elicited an ominous thump sound from inside or underneath the car.
We turned around and made our way to the nearest St. Louis Lexus dealer, Plaza Lexus. Mind you this is a Saturday morning in the Midwest, most automotive dealers in this part of the world have service hours Monday through Friday only. Also keep in mind that we had purchased our pre-owed LS 430 from non-Lexus dealer, and we had never before graced the service department of Plaza before.
In less than 30 minutes our car had been diagnosed enough to know that the right side of the dash needed removing to get at the climate control duct work. Apparently a flap of some sort was jammed or broken in the wrong position. We had an appointment scheduled for first thing Monday morning. And just so we wouldn’t be inconvenienced, we had a 2003 LS 300 to use, free of charge until our car was ready Monday afternoon. Try that at your local Ford dealer, I dare you.
With no further difficulties we made our way across Missouri to Kansas City. Along the way we saw signs for free wireless internet access at any number of motels in and around the KC metropolitan area. We chose to stop at the first one we came to, Sleep Inn of Blue Springs, simply because it was first, and it was on the east side of town; making our departure on Sunday that much easier.
We netted a corporate rate thanks to the generosity of the desk man and were soon in our room preparing to explore the city. Wanting to test the Wi-Fi setup I unpacked my PowerBook only to discover no signal. Stopping and restarting the Airport didn’t work, nor did restarting the whole computer. I moved the machine around all four walls getting no signal at all. Opening the hallway door and stepping outside the room got me a very weak signal.
So going down the hall to the front desk ( where by the way the signal was very strong ) I asked about my difficulty. My buddy with the corporate discount insisted that the signal worked fine all the way to the end of the hall, several rooms past where we were staying. In the end he was unhelpful.
We left the room and spend several hours driving around KC ending up at a Sweet Tomatoes for dinner. Back in our room with hours to kill before bedtime I again tried the WiFi access with no luck. Discount-boy down the hall said, “Hey, it’s free, what do you want?”
I wanted to hit him. Free? Not hardly. I was paying $55 to NOT have free wireless internet service in my room. To add insult to injury the television had occasional fits of interference that washed the screen with a solid red tint. Oh, in addition the weak-kneed A/C in the room was fighting a losing battle against the 85 degree outside temp. And the bed was lumpy and equipped with sheets that refused to stay on the mattress.
We left the room about 2 am, figuring if we couldn’t drive the 5 hours home before collapsing, we’d sleep more comfortably in the car on the way. Taking turns we did make it home in less than 5 hours. Got to sleep in our own bed. Nice.
Final score: Lexus - all the points, Sleep Inn - Zero.
P. S. We liked Kansas City enough to make it doable. The biggest minus is that is would be an oasis, there isn’t anything nearby to go see. If KC didn’t have it, we’d have to go for hours to get it. It also makes getting home to Michele’s mom impossible without flying or driving two long days.
There has been some activity lately concerning my employment. Not wanting to jinx anything I haven’t written about it here, however, the lack of release from not writing is getting to me.
After nine weeks of unemployment I am definitely ready to return to work. Just about any work will do, thank you. I have prospects locally, five hours west of here in Kansas City, and 4 hours north in Janesville.
The local prospects include two positions that I would like to have, and one that I’ll take if offered. The best part about any of the three is that staying here keeps all of our moving options open. The minute I take a position that requires a move, we lose all of the the options.
The Kansas City position is the best in terms of duration and perhaps pay. It would also be a good enhancement to my skill set. Neither Michele or I has any knowledge of Kansas City to base our decision upon however. I do have a phone interview early next week that I hope will spawn a face-to-face interview. That would give us an excuse to go look it over. For all intents and purposes we moved to Vancouver and Charleston blind, and we don’t want to do that again if we can avoid it.
The Janesville option is moving along rather quickly. I have several phone conversations and a meeting with an account manager from the consulting firm. It appears that I’ll be getting a face-to-face interview with the client next week.
Michele is still waiting on her Chapel Hill opportunity to make up their minds. When she interviewed there they indicated the new funding would be available in six to eight weeks. It has now been four weeks. If I take either remote opening she loses this chance altogether. That would be hard for both of us to live with at some level. My hope is that I can delay making a choice for as long as possible to give her prospect time to make a decision.
One saving factor is that the Janesville consulting firm is the largest consulting firm in the country. They have offices everywhere. Should Michele be offered the position in Chapel Hill, I am certain I could work with this firm there to find a job quickly.
We are both excited about the recent activity here, and looking forward to the events of next week. I feel my confidence returning, and for the first time in a long time I feel like I will get out of this slump with a better job than I had before.