Previously in this space I wrote about discovering that the Mac OS X 10.2.8 upgrade reset the value used for CPU frequency. In my case I lost about a 3rd of my overall speed.
By reseting the PMU I was able to get full horsepower again.
For a while.
It seems that rebooting the machine loses the correct PMU value. Nuts. So now, until I upgrade to Panther (maybe soon now) I have to reset the PMU every time I restart or reboot my Powerbook.
Panther here I come.
There is a file, called robots.txt, that when associated with a web site instructs search engine robots not to catalog the file or files disallowed. I have a teeny, tiny one here on zanshin.
The White House has a huge one, covering a huge list of topics.
I think this is wrong. The White House works for me, I’m a member of the board of the United States of America, along with nearly 300 million other citizens. The President, and his staff, are temporary appointments put there by us to oversee the running of the country for four years. How dare they play keep away with information.
JJ sent me an instant message today letting me know that some of my tags were showing. One of the dangers of copy-paste coding had reared its ugly head. I had an extra “/>” embedded in the individual archive template. And I also had some residue from a previous-next navigation scheme that I had only partially removed.
After getting these gaffs cleaned up I took the time to modularize the primary pages of the site. The header, left and right side, and footer sections of the page are now coded once and reused.
I also correct a CSS problem that was preventing the left side border from displaying properly when the content was anything other than standard “paragraph” text. By moving the border definition to a new CSS element I was able to strip it from all the normal HTML tags. Now they work regardless of where they are used.
I’ve added a category summary page that lists all posting categories, and a count of entries for each. On my to-do list is creation of a page that will list the entry titles (as a hypertext link) for each category. Maybe over the weekend.
For the most part I think design is complete. I may tweak the fonts here or there over time, but on the whole I am very pleased with site now. I have tested it in
Today’s reading is from the Book of Corporate Life. Chapter 1, verses 1-15:
I continue to come down from my peak of anger and upset at yesterday’s news about my rate reduction. It is amazing what a good long talk with a trusted and safe partner, followed by a sound night’s sleep, can do for a guy.
In the clear light of a new day I realize that this is still the best game in town. I make a substantial amount of money, doing work that I by and large enjoy if not love. I have tremendous freedom within the job itself, flextime and independence to set my own priorities and tasks. There are few other engagements that would allow me so much freedom.
Further I realize that I would be extremely lucky to find a job with similar compensation levels anywhere else in the country. Sure, with the added value of paid benefits, and paid time off, I could afford to work for less and still maintain the same standard of living I have now. But I would likely give up some measure of freedom to achieve such a position.
My employment situation has evolved several times over the course of 20 years, and that evolution is continuing with this latest wrinkle. My prime goal for working independently was to free myself from the arbitrary constraints so often placed on salaried employees. I have accomplished that goal, and staying here allows me to keep that perk.
Like all of life’s situations, this one will come to an end eventually. My job now is to take some time to discover what needs I have, and to express those needs in terms that will help me define the parameters that will make my next work experience satisfying for me.
After getting home this evening I had long talk with Michele about the rate situation. It felt good to rant and rave and let all my emotions run free. After a good venting I was able to see my situation more clearly. Along the way, Michele made several excellent points that helped bring me back into balance.
She pointed out that we had suspected this rate cut was coming months ago. Towards that end we reorganized our finances and prepared ourselves to live on less monthly income. Sure this rate cut smarts, but it isn’t the end of the world.
Michele also reminded me that although this feels personal in the moment it really isn’t about me. No one sat down and decided to make my life miserable. If I pursue that feeling I’ll only end up hurting myself.
The change in my rate status doesn’t mean that any change needs to occur in my life. Running around screaming the sky is falling isn’t going to solve anything, and it may end up hurting me. Sitting back and letting this situation, and my emotions, find equilibrium is a much better way to take care of me.
So maybe the boats and helicopters from earlier aren’t meant to take me away from this situation, but rather to rescue me from making a mountain out of a molehill.
After getting home this evening I had long talk with Michele about the rate situation. It felt good to rant and rave and let all my emotions run free. After a good venting I was able to see my situation more clearly. Along the way, Michele made several excellent points that helped bring me back into balance.
She pointed out that we had suspected this rate cut was coming months ago. Towards that end we reorganized our finances and prepared ourselves to live on less monthly income. Sure this rate cut smarts, but it isn’t the end of the world.
Michele also reminded me that although this feels personal in the moment it really isn’t about me. No one sat down and decided to make my life miserable. If I pursue that feeling I’ll only end up hurting myself.
The change in my rate status doesn’t mean that any change needs to occur in my life. Running around screaming the sky is falling isn’t going to solve anything, and it may end up hurting me. Sitting back and letting this situation, and my emotions, find equilibrium is a much better way to take care of me.
So maybe the boats and helicopters from earlier aren’t meant to take me away from this situation, but rather to rescue me from making a mountain out of a molehill.
There is an old joke about a man trapped by a flood who refuses rescue in three boats, and later a helicopter. His reasoning is that God will take care of him. After he drowns and reaches heaven, God says he shouldn’t be here. The man says I waited for you to take care of me. God replies, I sent you three boats and a helicopter.
It occurs to me that the latest rate reduction being forced upon my by my sole client is, if not the helicopter, the third boat. In the three years since I have held this engagement there has been an unending stream of stress. If my contract wasn’t up in the air, payments on my invoices was delayed for months. If payments were on time, the project was in jeopardy of being cancelled.
I have doggedly weathered the increasing flood waters here. I took a 10 percent cut in rate after the first year here. I nearly went bankrupt trying to survive slow payments during the second year. This past summer was filled with worry about whether I’d even have a contract or not. And I dug a deep hole in back taxes with the IRS that will be difficult to escape. Now, less than a month after getting a new contract, unilateral cuts are being required by the State. In my case a cut of 35%.
I think that the TAO, or God, has other things in mind for me. Staying here is not going to work. If I insist upon staying in the face of this third boat, with the helicopter off in the distance, I deserve to drown in the quagmire that is consulting for the State of Illinois.
It is time to accept the suggestion to leave.
Today I finally saw the third and final installment of The Matrix movies. I had studiously avoided reading any critiques beforehand so I could measure its merits for myself. Still, I was aware that there were a significant number of people (based on weblogs I read) that were disappointed in the finale.
One of the catch phrases from the trailers was, “everything that has a beginning has an end.” Only this end wasn’t really an end, was it? The machines are still in control of most of humanity, we don’t know if Neo is alive or dead, and the representations of good and evil, the Oracle and the Architect, have reached an impasse, or perhaps Mexican standoff.
Like many people I was utterly wowed by the original movie. Not just the special effects but the whole story line and philosophy. And I agree that the noir look added greatly to the film. Like all bridge movies (and all trilogies have them by definition) Reloaded left me hungry for more. Revolutions delivered a good action movie, with an hour or more of “The Battle for Zion”, but it didn’t tie up very well the story lines of the Merovingian, the Architect, or the Oracle.
One comment I read likened this movie to a world-wide ctrl-alt-delete. I feel this is an apt analogy. But it leaves me wondering, what happens in the Matrix: Rebooted?
I am feeling as if I am hanging by a thread over a bottomless pit today. My contract with the State of Illinois is being “renegotiated” to a lower rate at the State’s behest. I put negotiated in quotes as all indications are that the State will present a new rate and the negotiation will be whether I stay on or not.
It has been extremely difficult to be here since this initiative was announced. All of the consultants I work with are upset to different degrees, and any conversation breaks down into tying to outdo the other in descriptions of how awful and unlawful this whole mess is in their opinion. We all agree that this sucks, but none of us are getting our own emotions validated in any meaningful manner.
I feel totally out of control and helpless in the face of this situation. There aren’t any other jobs in this city, or even this part of the state, that would equal half of my current income. Turning this rate reduction down would mean relocating to another city. Thinking about all that would entail leaves me next to tears. I worked so hard this summer to accept the realities of having a contract with the State, and when I was granted a new one in early October I thought I was past the worst of this situation.
Taking the reduced rate may be an option, provided it isn’t so one-sided a reduction as to be impossible. I have no idea how to prepare myself for hearing the number, or making the decision. Sure, I have built a spreadsheet and I know to the penny what each percentage point costs me financially. Only I am no longer just a financially driven person. How I feel, and how I view myself is far more important that mere dollars.
Hmm, if that were completely true I’d be able to take whatever rate is offered and be happy I have a job. I guess there is still a piece of me that wants to be valued monetarily. Like it or not, income is a measure in our society. One that I have been immersed in my whole adult life. For all the growth and progress I’ve made in learning how to take care of me and be true to myself, I still am clinging to some significant rocks.
When we moved to Illinois for this contract I had visions of saving lots of money and being financially independent. I know now that these visions were driven by my false-personality. My truth is that I don’t need a lot of money, and having the ability to earn it has brought nothing but difficulties and dangers. We are worse off in many regards than when I was an employee, with no real advantage to show for the perceived freedoms of self-employment.
As an employee I gave up control of many things, but I kept my sense of self largely intact. Now that I have learned to meet my emotional and spiritual needs outside of the work environment, my sense of self would be even stronger as an employee. Working for myself has twisted my whole approach to me around. I am not a company, even though I play one for work. I lost my hard gained sense of self amid all the flash and circumstance of being self-employed.
Either I figure out to be myself again, even though I have a professional persona that is vastly different than the real me, or I need to return to a more structured environment that relives me of the employment concerns so I can return to me.
This isn’t about money, although that is the language that gets used to discuss the problem. This is about being able to stand up to the “authority” figure and say, “I am content with who I am, I don’t need your validation.” This is a growth opportunity for me. If I can find my through this latest bit of falseness back to my truth I will be able to move on from here without needing to repeat this lesson.
I now understand what it is I am to learn from all this falderal with contracts and rates and self-employment. External labels, whether applied by some authority figure or self-imposed, are meaningless. The. Only. Thing. That. Matters. Is. What. I. Think.
I am not a contractor, nor consultant. I am not a programmer, or project team leader. I. Am. Mark.